If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
4 words: hood of his car
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
