i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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