Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
