Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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