she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
