whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The Olympian is in my bed
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
