You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
