Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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