I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
