Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
