i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
