lets start a swedish sibling band together
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
