No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize