Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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