Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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