is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
two words...techno handjob
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
