Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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