Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
