all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
