It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
