Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
