HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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