Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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