Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
