I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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