I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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