She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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