Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
