All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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