I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
