Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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