I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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