i always forget guys have bellybuttons
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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