her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
