i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
