i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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