the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
