Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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