She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
