i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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