It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
