Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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