I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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