Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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