Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
