are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
