I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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