I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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