Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
