Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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