I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Pooping to opera.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
