i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This is classic penis vs brain.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
