Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
