I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
