And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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