I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
