She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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