i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
